Was forcibly exposed to a series of alien conspiracy programs today. My opinions on the subject were made most unwelcome when I chose to voice them. Not particularly surprised, just amused. So felt like sharing and asking a couple of questions.

One, I’m sure there’s probably other forms of life from other planets, galaxies or stars. Logic and the law of averages says it’s sensible.

Two; I severely doubt such entities, assuming they do exist, are little bald doctors, shape shifting reptiles out to take over our power structures, or cat people from space attempting to form peace embassies. I further doubt they’re breeding with us, stealing our eggs and sperm, or blowing up cows for shits and giggles.

Last: I tend to believe that if aliens did arrive, we’d either never know about it, or we’d know when they start blowing us up. Logical reason? People who go exploring tend to be aggressive, warlike. We’ve seen it again and again in our own history, and since we seem to insist on picturing aliens as having at least superficially human traits, logic says their explorers are likely to have similar traits to our own. Add in that they have to have technology far beyond our own (unless they really have been hiding on Mars or Pluto this whole time, they’d have to be coming from another galaxy, and intergalactic travel implies technology beyond our own), and it’d be like Cortez hitting South America all over again. Just my opinion.

Now, the questions: why abduct us? Why suck out our organs and diddle our butts? Why are their primary victims generally Individuals with apparently low intellect and/or altered states of mind? Why do we insist on assuming aliens are either benevolent or just mysterious? Why do we think they make crop circles, blow up cows (and steal their udders) or make us take care of weird half breeds?

And last: Why are so many alien enthusiasts batshit crazy conspiracy theorists? If one wants to have a rational discussion – or at least as rational as a conversation involving Roger Smith administering an anal probe can be – that’s all fine and well, but it never happens. Instead it turns to how cat people are fighting reptilian overlords who have secretly replaced former presidents and are working with the Illuminati to keep us docile, except for the enlightened souls who’ve discovered that marijuana is alien repellent.

Sorry. I’m babbling. But it’s really bugging me.


7 responses to “Aliens

  1. Hmmmm, I’ve never seriously considered the alien question in depth. Like you, I would imagine that somewhere out there intelligent beings likely exist. For me it’s always been the subject tossed about after the part drinks start to wear off. I’m not sure about the rest of it. Giving them human characteristics I can only think of two reason they would bother to travel here. I mean why do we throw ourselves out into space? We do it in an effort to learn and study about the universe in hopes of finding stuff that will help us out. So far we are not doing it in order to conquer but I don’t think we’d be above such a thing should we discover somewhere/something worth having.

    I mean, when we are running about exploring, even here on earth, and we find a new species we immediately pull it into a lab to study. We often destroy in order to understand. What if aliens did not come to conquer us, maybe they feel no need to conquer us because we are so far below them that they consider us simply animals? Maybe they, like we sometimes do, simply want to study some new species about as far below them as we consider monkeys or lab rats to be?

    • Well, if they thought that way of us, it would potentially explain the little bald doctors and their experiments… Though my own thoughts tend to be either self-aggrandizing (we’re too important to just be pets and test subjects!) or nihilistic (we’re not even as interesting or intimidating as ants.)

      So far as motivations, I blame my upbringing and natural tendencies, but I tend to believe no exploration is really altruistic (or even at best slightly-selfishly benevolent.) I tend to assume learning is, at best, a tertiary objective, behind “stealing junk that helps us” and “making sure nothing is there to steal our junk.” But that’s just me. XD

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