Apparently, you need a manual for this stuff…

Due to some shuffling of my position at work, I get far fewer opportunities for new books; I was recently put in charge of rare, autographed and pre-ISBN-tracking tomes. Those don’t get to be passed out for free, due to their (usually) higher inherent value, and since I’m over at my desk working though piles of those, I don’t get to go play with the piles of mass market paperbacks and “normal” hardcovers, so can’t hijack them.

Still, on occasion, I pillage the pulp or something at a neighboring station catches my eye, and it leads to dumb questions. How to Pray For Your Children (link goes to Amazon, be warned), just struck me as an incredibly bizarre title and concept, and it left me with my head cocked and trying to determine precisely who this is for.

Apparently, this book will teach you how to pray for both your Godly and wayward kids, their friends, and the authority figures who travel through their lives. It’s got special tips for unborn, stillborn and deceased kids, as well as sections specifically relating to adult children (though there’s also a How to Pray… manual specifically for that subgroup, along with Husbands, Wives, Parents and In-Laws.) But I don’t get it. Because it was my understanding that God knows what’s in your heart and mind, so when you “open the mic,” so to speak, by praying, you’re merely engaging in a formality; He already knows what you want or need, and was just waiting for you to ask. Perhaps I missed something, and there’s forms to complete, or special language to be concerned with, but I didn’t know folks needed a $15 book to inform them on the process. Given the presentation in the Bible, I figured “Dear God, please take care of my kids, Amen” should suffice, right?

Of course, nobody will ever mistake me for being particularly devout, and the whole thing boggles the mind most days anyway. But still. Just let it sink in. Someone, somewhere, is making idea off the idea of selling a manual on how to pray properly for nearly anything.

I knew I should have joined the priesthood…


6 responses to “Apparently, you need a manual for this stuff…

  1. “How to Pray for” … I couldn’t resist googling that and apparently we need lots of instruction for it. Bwah ha ha

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