Posts Tagged ‘projects

10
Sep
19

Is it worth it?

I mentioned yesterday I finally got through the assorted barriers of procrastination to finally begin work on Black Yard.

The question I have to ask now, though – which may well be that procrastination, my depression, or my general lack of self-worth talking, mind you – is: is it worth pursuing?

I don’t have the artistic or musical skill to create images, sprite maps, or music unique to the game. Since I’m still arguing with six doctors and three different insurance companies for someone to process my disability paperwork, I don’t have funds to buy resource packs for RPG Maker or to commission folks on Fiverr for it. That means I’m stuck with the default stuff, which is obviously designed for generic medieval western European fantasy settings. Not such a good fit for a game set in America in the 80s. I’m doing what I can to make it work, but it still doesn’t feel “right.”

Which leaves me wondering: Should I bother? I made some headway yesterday, getting most of the “special” items sorted out, I have placeholders at least for the map screens I need, and most of what’s left is doing my best to make it look pretty and hooking them together with the narrative. But knowing, as I do, that it’s still not going to be “right,” even when I expend everything I am capable of on the project and render it “as done as I can make it” seems to beg the question of if it’s worth doing at all.

I don’t know. What I do know is that a large chunk of my afternoon today will likely be working on the “Memory” events that form the bulk of the narrative, and I’ll figure it out from there. For now, here’s my crappy title screen:

Screenshot (1)

The name probably should change, too. Someone will yell at me about it at some point, I’m sure. I don’t even know how or why I settled on Black Yard.

That’s all for today folks; lemme know your thoughts down below. Or if anyone is familiar with the process of what to do with it once it’s done so people can play it, that’d help too.

As always, if you are of a mind and are interested in helping me keep my prescriptions current and filled, or want to chip in for my surgery situation, you can do so via Patreon or GoFundMe. Anything helps and is always appreciated, but never required, and I’m more than happy to give whatever shout outs you request in return.

KA Spiral no signature

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19
Jan
18

Endings

It’s done; having spent much of the last month scribbling on it, “Layers” has reached its conclusion.

Finishing.jpg

While part of me – the part that isn’t currently holed up in the bathroom soaking in steam and peppermint oil, fighting to keep breathing, I suspect – is satisfied, proud of what I made, and riding a bit of euphoria that I managed to actually finish something for the first time in quite a while, I am not entirely sated.

I want more. There is no refractory period; just the urge to create something else. As I mentioned in a previous post, I’m not certain if that’s going to be starting work on “Maiax,” actually pushing forward with “Riptide” or the Department of Official Misinformation, or resurrecting Ex Inferis, but I am certain that there will be something else, that there must be something else.

To my (hopefully) loyal readers, I want to thank you. If you’ve enjoyed “Layers,” consider giving it a like, a share, or a rating over on Wattpad. It helps a lot. If it’s something you think you’d like on your Kindle, let me know; I’m currently debating on whether to reformat it and put it on Amazon, and your vote counts.

Even if you don’t, I still thank you. You give me the opportunity to put these words out there, you give me the small smidgen of determination that I have to carry on, and you give me an audience to tell these things to. I hope I’ve given you at least something in return.

Now back to breathing and scribbling.

KA Spiral no signature




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